What's it like 'Parenting with Purpose'?
What is a 'Values Driven Child'?
How and why would you combine the two?
Great questions! I have had them in my mind for many, many years. You see, I'm a recovering 'corporate work-a-holic', with three children, two of which are grown (23 and 20 years old), and a 5 year old.
Raising a young child after all these years has put a TON of things into perpective for me.
During my first go round as a 'new' father, I was a high level manager in the corporate sales world. I was known as a hardcharger, go-getter, over-achiever.....a success. That was by the corporate standards.
I was also, away from home a large percentage of the time, over-worked, exhausted, losing my health, and not 'walking the walk' of my true belief system.
The difference between the surface of who I was and the true me were 180 degrees apart. I was a success by the worlds standards, but a failure as a father, and that was quite a burden to bear. That was in 1998.
Fast forward to 2012. Having left the corporate scene in 2001 after 20 years of hard charging, enduring a terrible divorce, and only able to see me kids on Wednesdays and every other Weekend per Florida Divorce law, I was starting over. With many prayers and sleepless nights I fought to find where my 'calling' was in life. I hurt a hurt I wouldn't wish on anyone. I mean I HURT!
I was determined to do something in my life, aside from 'chasing the money', which I made enormous amounts of in my corporate career. I wanted to do what I love, enjoy the 2nd half of my life, enjoy my family, as I had since remarried to the woman of my dreams. A great Christian woman, mother, friend and confidante.
She encouraged me to follow my heart and do something that would fulfill me, and assured me that the money would follow.
On a wing and 10,000 prayers I made full time work of what had been a hobby: Gracie Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. That was 2005. Quite frankly, this business exploded and put me on a path toward true fulfillment. Now we are seven years into this quest and my main school is thriving, my affilates are doing well, my trademarked childrens curriculum, Kid-Jitsu is well known throughout the world, and the Kid-Jitsu Instructor Manuals have been selling on Amazon.com for many years.
Most importantly, my home life was and is incredibly good. Like a dream come true.
That's the 'backdrop' of my life in 450 words or less. What I wish to share here is one of the main benefits of where I am now, and what I have done to get here.
First off, my main focus is my God and my family. Everything else is secondary. My view, and perspective on life has changed dramatically. I found what is important. For me, that is my family. Ironically enough, I've found how to be a better father, husband, and person by my time I have spent on the Jiu-Jitsu mats in my school.
I have taught many people over the years, and I've learned as much from them as they have from me. From me, they learned jiu-jitsu, from them, I've learned to be a better man. Specifically, I have learned this from the kids I have taught.
Without getting too long on this, I spent the better part of 8 years teaching kids, implementing my aforementioned curriculum, and imparting my Kid-Jitsu Values program to them week in and week out for those 8 years. Sitting on the mat with them during the mid class break, and again prior to bowing out of class.....sitting, talking, asking questions, listening, laughing, teaching, learning.
My goal was to get on their level, talk their language, get in their heads, and lead them in discussions on values and character development. I had hoped to impart my vast amounts of wisdom....hah!....on them. However through them I learned a lot more than I could have imagined.
In these settings I got to see, eye to eye, in living color the beauty and wonder of hundreds of kids. I was able, thru questioning them as I did customers in my sales days, to get them to open up, and share their hearts. It was incredible.
I asked, I listenened, I clarified, then I listened, listened, and listened some more.
What I learned from them showed me the way to 'get to' these kids and plant seeds that could help them in their lives moving forward.....'values driven children'. It also helped me create a 'template' of sorts to assist parents, like myself, have discussions with their young ones on the given values in my curriculum.
So, with that said, the "Values Driven Child: Parenting with Purpose was born. I'm enjoying my times on the mats with the kids even more that this program is taking off in other areas. They are feeling 'famous' as they've been my guinea pigs!
I'm enjoying my older 2 kids more and we have shared our hearts many times over the past years, and I feel the 'practice' I had on the mats with other parents children, put me on the right path with my own.
Lastly, and most up close and personal, is the time now with my 5 year old. He's a joy! Adopted at birth, a gift from God (like my other 2), I am able to connect with him in ways that were foreign to me many years ago. As his father, I am proud to be able to spend time with him, many hours a day as I no longer travel a large percentage of the time. We are even home schooling him, so we can have total impact on him, his values and his view on life, while still letting him be a kid, and learn lessons in his own way too.
I am dedicated to having a "purpose driven child" and I'm definately ALL-IN on this "parenting with purpose" thing I've developed.
Please join me. We can change this world....one child at a time....starting in our homes.
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